Thursday, June 30, 2011

317 -

I'm sorry for saying so much about all that crap. I was just feeling kinda down and pissed at everything ...

So I don't mind if you read this one day and decide that you'll never forgive me. Well I'm feeling a little better now, actually more that just better. I feel totally different from when I was arguing with you, I feel like how I felt in lower secondary. Happy, LOUD, RANDOM & well I don't know, just more relaxed than ever since we entered secondary 3.

I'm not sure why, but I just feel so much better. Ever since school ended, I just felt released of all my stress and crap. And for once, I'm not sad or upset or irritated or annoyed or anything, I'm just happy.

I'm gonna continue this spree as I work toward my studies, so I can be as light headed as possible while working my hardest for the first time.

ENDx ---

7:02 PM

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

316 -

How could we still be friends when such a thin thread hangs in the balance of our friendship? It's bound to snap one day, but I have a feeling that it'll keep breaking and mending over and over again. So really, what am I to you? A friend or a toy? I'm not saying this behind your back or anything, but I find it rather rude to be furious at you when talking about this. So simply put, our friendship has not fully mended, it just started to heal. But things are getting really out of hand.

Firstly, I want to ask you something, you know who you are and I don't mean to be rude in anyway but, Hey am I a freaking toy to you? Why? Because I'm always the one taking in all your problems when you decide to talk about them, yet I'm always the one who gets the cold shoulder first in your list of friends.

And at last I have reached an epiphany, when you're happy or feeling alright, you treat me like a princess, a dear friend. But when you're sad or upset over anything, you treat me like a pauper, some useless person on the side of the street you wouldn't give a damn about. In fact, you shut everyone out once you get upset.

When we want to cheer you up, you push us a side. When we speak, you ignore us. So what do you want from us? To be your friends or to be people who couldn't give a damn about how you feel? I know you don't want to give a damn anymore, but hey we want to give a damn. So couldn't you just open up a little? Why can't you just try to let us in? Are you that afraid that we're gonna take you for granted and leave you when you're at your weakest to crush you? OH GAWD. PLEASE! I have been through a lot of what you have, sure you can say that you have family problems when I have such a perfect family. You can say that I've never been through a break up, that's all true. However, I've opened my heart to so many people who have let me down so many times over and over, but I never shut anyone out of my heart. Even if they treat me unfairly, especially some people, I still forgive and forget. Ever since that incident, you've changed a lot.

I know it doesn't make sense, but I really gotta get all of this out of my mind before I go mad or start crying due to over baggage of all this crap. I'm on the verge of losing it, you treat me like I'm the bitch who keeps getting better results even though I don't study when you've studied like crap. Hey maybe thats how you see me, some useless pain in the ass of a friend or tool that was born smart or something, do you think I wanted this? Do you think I want all those comments? You know, if you wanted to make such comments, why do you still hang out with me? Oh gawd ...

Maybe it was wrong to choose to go to E3 in the first place, then maybe, just maybe, we wouldn't be fighting all the time. That way not only would we be saving our tears and frustration, maybe you would have done better without me. Hey, maybe I'm at fault for being in the same class as you, for causing you extra stress even! GAWD! Like JEEZ! Just forget it ... I'm just ranting, and what for? I'm just wasting my time writing all this shit when I could be studying for examinations ...

-I'm sorry, but I've been through enough.

ENDx ---

8:01 PM

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

315 -

It sucks when your best friend just turns on you and says that you're from totally different worlds. It stings so damn bad when some one says that, yet I felt no tears. Maybe it's cause I've through it so many times that my tears have all dried up, people change. Everything does, nothing in this world remains the same forever, change might be minor but it can cause a major effect.

Some times I just wish we never met, so I wouldn't be the one on the other side whenever you got mad or upset. Other times I just wish you didn't change because of him, but I know that's just impossible in so many ways. The rest of the times I just wish we could get along like we used to, but who cares right?

Time passes as history repeats again and again and again. I hate that I can't stay mad at you, I hate that I always forgive you no matter what, and I hate that you keep doing the same thing to me. So I've got so much hate, but I can't bring myself to actually hate you, why? Why can't I just stay mad at you for more than a day? Why am I still putting on that smile for you even after so much pain you've put me through? Why should I even care anymore? Why can't I just stop caring?

Damn it. I just wanna change this stupid character in me that forgives you way too easily, and why the hell am I afraid of you? I just want to rid myself of you, but I can't. So why don't you just leave me alone after you crash my hope over and over again? I mean, if you hate me enough to keep doing this to me, why don't you have a heart and leave me alone for good? I don't want to end our "friendship" but things are getting harder and harder to accept, and more over your attitude isn't helping one bit.

Sorry for ranting but that's really how I feel whether you read this or not... I just hope we can stop all this useless fighting because the next time this happens, my face will be fixed. No more tears will run and I won't waste my energy on you anymore. I'm sorry for being such a bitch about this, but I hope you understand. I'm trying to get over him but I don't have much time left before the 6th month, and this extra drama isn't making it any easier. It serves otherwise, I'm thinking bout him more and more as we fight, so can't we just cool down... I'm gonna break if I don't have anyone to fall back soon, I just want to stand firmly on my two feet instead of relying too much on others to help me up.

I'm really sorry, but things have gone a tad bit too far, hasn't it? ... ...

ENDx ---

4:04 PM

Welcome!

Name : Megan
Sign : Aries
Date : 05041995'
Year : 17

It's Me

Aries people have a tendency to leap before looking and to take risks that shock more cautious types. This is a very physically courageous sign, so it is not surprising that many Aries people gravitate toward risky professions such as the military, the police force, stunt work, sports, rescue work and racecar driving. Aries people are also emotionally courageous to the point of recklessness and will change their entire lives on a whim in order to follow some dream or romantic inclination.

Accident-Prone and Impulsive Aries people are accident-prone, not because they are clumsy but because they move quickly and impulsively. Aries people like to drive fast and many have an interest in extreme or high-impact sports. Aries people crave the adrenaline rush of novelty and will often take unnecessary risks in order to achieve it.

Mechanically Inclined The sign of Aries is associated with engines, and many people with the sun, moon or ascendant in Aries are good with anything that has a motor. Many Aries people are drawn to professions or pastimes that involve driving or flying.

Pioneering and Entrepreneurial Aries people are pioneering and entrepreneurial, willing to go to new places, try new things and start new projects. They often have trouble with authority and do better as their own bosses. They are good at self-promotion, which ensures that many succeed in their own businesses.

Aries people are not particularly suited to detail work and prefer to implement big plans or start things and have others fill in the details. They are good at coming up with creative ideas on the spot but may have trouble sustaining the effort to follow through with their plans unless the ascendant or moon is in an Earth sign (Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn) or in the water sign of Cancer or Scorpio.

Aries people have very low boredom thresholds and can lose interest in things quite easily. Thus, a career must provide lots of change, social interaction and excitement or the Aries will want to move on.

High Energy and Athletic Ability Most Aries people have loads of energy, which they need to burn off continuously through physical activities and socializing. They are competitive by nature and usually have an aptitude for athletics, either team sports or solitary fitness activities. Most also enjoy watching sports and other physical displays such as dance, skating, skiing or other fitness activities that require movement and coordination. There is usually a particularly strong draw toward martial arts with this sign.

Aries is a very sociable sign. Aries people like to be around other people most of the time and seek out novel and exciting situations. They prefer people who challenge them intellectually and compete with them in some way, and they quickly grow bored and irritated with homebodies and cautious, timid types.Extroverted and Friendly Impatient and Combative Aries people think fast, move fast and talk fast (many of them are chatterboxes). They are not very patient, particularly with slow moving, slow speaking people. In fact, Aries is the least patient sign of the zodiac.

Aries people are forceful and even aggressive when pursuing what they want, and willing to charge head first into conflict. They prefer to deal with problems immediately, head on, and will rarely avoid confrontation. This leads them to poke at and provoke some of the more avoidant types until they can implement some sort of catharsis in interpersonal situations. Aries people often have little respect for those who can’t put up a good fight.

Honest to the Point of Rudeness Aries people tend to be honest and forthright, almost to a fault at times. They are not subtle, and they have terrible tempers that are easily set off, though they are also quick to forgive. They often say and do things rashly that cause strife in their interpersonal relationships. A lack of tact can create problems. When bored, Aries people may pick fights simply to entertain themselves and fulfill their subconscious need for conflict.

Altruistic The Aries paradox is a strange combination of selfishness and generosity. Aries people can be self-absorbed and self-centered at times, but this is also one of the most altruistic signs, and Aries people are usually quick to help those in need, even at great personal cost and risk. This, combined with the Aries propensity to take risks, leads many Aries people into the rescuing professions such as firefighter, paramedic, peacekeeper or coast guard.

Aries people may turn their desire to help in another direction and get into the idealistic side of politics, working to change the system from within. Most Aries people have a strong interest in politics, though this may take the form of argument rather than action.

Youthful and Idealistic Aries people tend to be fun, lively, playful and youthful. Many look younger than their chronological ages and most retain some childlike qualities throughout adulthood, both physically and psychologically.

Despite the emotional courage of this sign, Aries people are surprisingly sensitive and eager to please. Though they can be pushy and domineering or controlling at times, they are also idealistic, trusting, and in great need of reassurance. Aries people can be quite naïve, and others may take advantage of this.

Naturally Optimistic Aries people do nothing by half-measures. Anything they choose to do, they do fully and completely. They are stubborn and generally refuse to accept defeat, even long after a situation has become untenable. They rarely stay down for long though, as this is a naturally optimistic sign that bounces back quickly from misfortune and strife. Aries people have a way of coming out on top in most situations



You lie with how you act.
You are a 'glass half full' kind of person,
or at least you pretend to be.
You act like the person people need.
You are quiet and logical in group that needs some morals.
You are upbeat and positive in a group that needs some excitement.
You are kind and understanding when people need a shoulder to cry on.
Basically, you lie about who you are.
Your kind heart is easily manipulated by people who are just looking to use you,
but you have a tendency to bring out the best in people.
You are a wonderfully positive person and everyone loves to be around you.
You live for your ever growing circle of friends.

You lie because you do not think about yourself.
You are happy if everyone else is happy,
and sometimes have a problem with thinking for yourself.
Only your truest friends have seen you when your tolerance has run out,
and your best friends are the ones who calm you down and
don't take advantage of this. Even if you have had a bad day,
you put a smile on for the people who need a positive person around.
However, you let your guard down easily for a smooth talker or
overly friendly stranger. Your kind heart is open to everyone,
which makes you a target for people with bad intentions.
Keep your friends close and let them help you pick out the bad people,
because they are your weakness.
It's true that people could use someone like you,
but remember to think about yourself from time to time
so you don't explode from holding it all in.
You don't want to lose the friends who understand you the best.

-If I won't change that about myself, no one can change me-

Links

-Will link you if you tell me to-

Memoirs

January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
December 2010
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
March 2012
April 2012
November 2012
February 2013

Credits

Powered by: |x|
Designed by: |x|
Photohosting by: |x|
Brushes by: |x|
Image by: |x|