Friday, April 30, 2010
285 -
MYE just started yesterday!
Had English for the first paper,
today had Social Studies and
Maths Paper 2. Damned stress..
Maths question 8, last minute
know how to do... No time to
do then got frustrated -.-
Should give us more time to
do maths especially..
Kay, so good luck for the
rest of the MYE's! ^^
BYEx ~
1:48 PM
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
284 - - My Final Words -
I just want this to be over with.
I'll just take all that responsibility,
I'll just say what ever you think is right.
I'll just be who ever you think I am.
I'll just live as the person you see me as.
I'll take all the fault from every fight.
I'll take anything you throw at me.
I'll make it seem pointless to talk to.
I'll make life easier for you.
I'm just going to cry over mishaps.
I'm just going to try to make it right.
I'm just a person with dreams that are too big.
I'm just going to pull you down.
I'm worth nothing to you.
I don't mean anything to you.
I won't be anything to you.
I won't ever be what you want me to.
I won't agree with everything you think.
I can't listen to everything you say.
What else do you need me to do.
What else do you need me to go through.
What else do you want me to say.
What else do you want me to choose.
How many more times do you need me to cry over you.
How many more times are you going to hurt me.
How many more things are you going to do to me.
I've cried so many times,
Just because I cared.
Now I've had enough,
But I still cry everyday.
Its not your fault,
Its mine, isn't it?
Nothing was ever your fault,
I made that choice,
I made that foolish statement.
I was the one who didn't understand.
I was the one who made it this way.
I should have just stood up to her.
I should have just embarrassed her
in front of so many people.
But I didn't, and now everything comes
back to me.
I don't know what to do,
but I know I'm at fault.
I truly think this in my heart,
if you want to think its
sarcasm, fine with me.
I want no more part of
living this crazy life,
this stupid path I chose.
If I chose another path,
maybe this wouldn't happen.
But there's no going back.
I'll just live with it,
move on, cry about it.
There's nothing I can do if
you don't want to talk to me.
I won't say anything else,
I wouldn't want to disturb
the peace in your world now.
So I'll just go alone,
There's nothing else I can do.
There's no use forcing you to talk to me,
so I give up.
The last I can say is Sorry.
But its just another word.
Nothing changes with
just another word, I guess.
I just wish I could have
just made a better choice.
6:16 PM
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
283 -
posting again, finally?
yeah kinda...
been a bad month to say the
least... exam starts in 2 days
and alrd having as Yisuan
called it a "misunderstanding"
with some one...
gnna just tink through
before saying anything...
I just don't want to regret
anything anymore..
Cried today after talking
to Yisuan for a while..
actually when I was standing
I felt okay, but when I sat
next to her and rest my
head on her bag, I suddenly
cried... don't know why though...
so for now I'll just go solo,
and think bout what to do...
and if its really worth it..
but now, as in now now,
I'm gonna be studying for
the exams, and maybe cry
on my free time...
going solo ain't all that bad
to me... I kinda like
being alone some times...
but I guess I have not much
a choice, I'm really sorry
to those people who really
do care bout me, and I hope
for now you'll just leave me
be I guess... really sorry..
I just need to think things through..
To Yisuan, she knows why :
to your question just now,
well yeah I do... I really really
do... I would give anything to
make sure that they don't feel
anything negative... I really do
care deep down, I really have
nothing else in my heart...
I care because I care for them
truthfully, I don't care for the
sake of caring, I care cause I
have in my heart their
well-being... why would I
pretend to care bout something
I don't? I may pretend not to
care bout things I do but never
the opposite... This thing has
already hurt me really bad,
but I don't want to show it...
Deep down when she didn't
talk to me, I wanted to
cry my heart out... But
hey, I still tried to keep it in..
I hope you understand that...
I don't mean to be how I act when
I feel depressed, I just don't want
people to worry or get upset..
so whatever you think I don't mind
anymore... Thanks for listening. I
really wish that I had a choice of
not embarrassing one and not hurting
the other's feelings... I really need to
think it through, its not that I let
it happen with no response. I already
told the other person off, what else
do you want me or expect me to do?
Beg and plead for the other person
to believe what I tell her? I don't think
that will happen, and I know
very well that you can't force a
person to believe anything you say...
so I just figured, if the person doesn't
believe you, why bother wasting your
breath trying to convince some one
who won't believe you anyway...
I'm sorry... Thats all I can say,
but to others its just a few petty
words, they mean nothing as she
said once to me. What else should
I say? or do? If she doesn't want
to be with me then its fine by me,
I don't want to force her into doing
anything she doesn't want to. I
can't take it anymore alright?
Its not that easy, she doesn't
treat you the way she treats
some of us... so you wouldn't
know how it felt to be left
like that. It may not be true but
it is to me, cause I do feel that way.
That she treats some people better
than the others... & unless you tell me
that its not so, I just can't see that
truth yet. The things I'm seeing is different,
I just need some one to enlighten me
if I really have said anything wrong...
So yeah, I'm sorry but I can't do anything
that is beyond my reach...
6:39 PM
Friday, April 9, 2010
282 -
Hey finally posting after a random day!
LOL -.-
anywayx, gnna post something random,
after this short thingie
HAPPY BDAE TO JUNGWEE-
At least I think its his bdae o.o
I forgot to tell him in class -.-
wat a horrible classmate LOL
next monday is JiaLe Bdae!
another 12 Days to YiSuan Bdae!
& another 15 Days to Jasmine[Woon]
Bdae! :D April a lot of bdae sia -.-
gnna be broke ^^
hahax,
alright, so today was kinda boring o.o
but still a bit fun la...
not much laughing not sure why,
teachers all not funny today -.-
kaykay so other thn that,
gtta fix my psp -.- dam thing spoilt D:
KAY so
BYEx!
2:56 PM
Monday, April 5, 2010
281 -
Hey guys! Back to post o.o
kay, so many ppl wished
me happy bdae! WOOTx!
hahax, nt too keen on being older
but at least I know got ppl
know its my bdae!
1st to wish me was actually
Siuhui o.o COOL EH?!
hahax, she msged my at round 6+
second was my mum hehe...
thn when reach sch Yisuan,
followed by most of the class :D
kay so, gt 20K @cash frm LD,
10K cash frm Santa,
A teddy bear & card frm Siuhui,
a box of sweets & card frm Yisuan,
and a necklace & card frm
Jasmine Lim [ aka LaoNiang o.o]
the rest shook hands hahax..
gd enough for me ^^
tmr nt sure wat will happen -.-
coz I forgot gt any remedial anot.
OH YAH, tmr I getting a
freaking new bed o.o
why? my parents say
cheap mah ~ -_-"
thats hw I gt a new handset LOL
LD call me siao coz gt new phone sia~
wat the hell is this? hahax.
tmr MT!! D: stress -.-
going home ALONE -
LD, GuanYi, YS all gt CO
Santa gt remedial or smth D:
haix... so sian...
oh just now RAINNED
so fun LOL
played audi awhile thn sian,
coz alone play nth to do sia...
Santa no internet for another 3 weeks! D:
LD haven even gt a new comp -.-
GuanYi, er... duno just cnnt play -.-
Yisuan! Oh wait, haha as if~
Boys? a-hahaha NO WAY -
hmm... nvm spam facebook -.-
LOLx~ I wan go eat sushi :D
& ice cream :D &&&& er... CAKE!
haha LOL random -.-
okayokay, wasted ur life reading this!
SO I shall add a bit more
since u wasted so much time alrd!
I went to EAT PIZZA HUT AGN~
LOL I should stop going there -.-
LD & GY came my hse juz now~
play audi onli -.-
GY wan ransack my hse D:
er... Sat, GY cming wif Santa!!
duno do wat actually o.o
okay so thats bout it -
BYEx! xD
6:16 PM